Loaded

In my psychology class my teacher made this statement: "Anyone who believes in demons or spirits is ignorant."As I was surfing CNN.com I came across an artice praising President Obama for in cluding the word "non-believers" in his innagural address.Walking to the library on campus I briefly heard one sentence of a conversation saying, "It's not like I'm saying I don't believe in god..."In one week I was bombarded with flashes of challenging faith. I've often been asked the question as to what religion I practice. For the most part I lie because the truth is I don't know what to believe. Our culture is so wide and diverse that I feel it is impossible to say any one peron belongs to any one religion. I am in no way saying that anyone is wrong but rather just needs to study more. I myself was born and babtized Babtist. I went to Sunday school and learned everthing there was to learn at that age. When my parents divorced and the viel of Santa and the Easter bunny was lifted I found myself questioning my faith as well. After all, my father did committ adultry. When he remarried a Catholic and I was declared a bastard child, I became very jaded with organized religion. More so because I was drug out of bed every Sunday morning by my evil step mother to go to mass and listen and be merry with people I niether cared for or liked. Throughout junior high I became very dark and often refered myself as an athiest more and more studying things like astrology and tarot and paganism. As I got older and was going throuhg high school the more studying I did in the way of science and life I was convinced that evolution and science was the answer to the great question and the big bang theory was self explanitory. However, the more I got into my medical classes the more I was exposed to the wonderful world of diversity and learning everything from diets and death rituals to birthing practices and medicinal uses. Another big step I have taken in my journey through discovery happened when I went to college. I almost got sucked into the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. I read the book of Mormon and attended classes and church. It scared me how involved I allowed myself to become immersed. What broke me was probably the 10% income thing. I thought, if God wanted 10% of my income, when the United States govt already takes 23% from every paycheck, how am I supposed to support myself? With sugar and spice and everything nice? The biggest lesson I learned was I started questioning things again. So here I am again asking who is right?I don't think anyone will ever know what lies in the great beyond or if we really do just lay in a hole filled with dirt. I don't know that I believe there is one answer or one reason as to why or how. I think each culture and religion has at least one thing right and many things wrong. I wear the Eye of Ra because maybe it does bring me protection. I have the Holy Trinity tattooed because perhaps it brings balance to my life. I also have a pagan star because it symbolizes friendship. I have a bracelet with a fish carved of jade because the Chinese say it brings luck. I wear it for hard tests. I think that the Saints and Jesus Christ were real people who did amazing things and gave hope during periods in history filled with extreme darkness and despair. And as far as the stars go, I embrace my Scorpio side with pride and endulge in my inner mystical sexy side.I say to those who believe in something, keep believing. You're not ignorant. Faith will do amazing things to the human mind and spirit. And for many around the world it allows them to get up in the moring. I say to those that think anyone who believes is ignorant to step into my shoes and watch someone die with all their family standing around the bed and tell me they don't feel something different in the air. Or please, travel to Balgonie Castle, one of the most haunted places on earth, and stare the Green Lady right on the face and feel your breath leave your body. And as far as our president goes, thanks for reinforcing people's ideas to be unimaginative and not embrace that our country was founded on belief system that has allowed our country to prosper. I don't care about offending people. "In God We Trust" is a trademark for our country, not a religious statement. So keep putting your St. Christopher's on your dashboard and wearing your guardian angel pins. I say put that henna on your hands and wear that dot on your head. Dance naked around a bon fire during the solstice and fast for days. For those still on a winding path of uncertainty I say believeing in something, even if it's your goldfish, makes you ten times more interesting than the next person who doens't care about anything. I want to know if the fish does any tricks.